Survival Mode— As a child, I learned to fawn. Every breath was a careful negotiation to appease my mother, her moods like changing weather—sunshine one moment, stormy the next. It was born of her emotional clench, the jagged edge of her words piercing deeper than any physical blow. I danced on the edge of her wrath, longing for her approval, trembling under the weight of a love that twisted and stung. When passion ignites, I fight. I lash out with words, fierce and unrelenting. It’s a desperate struggle, a wild grasp at hope—an ember in the dark. I contend with the shadows for a glimmer of light, a whisper of possibility. In those moments, I am a warrior, standing firm against the tide, even if the ground is crumbling beneath my feet. Then, there comes the flight. I recognize when the air has grown too thick, when the light dims, and the shadows draw near. In those final moments of clarity, I abandon the fight. I retreat, silent, slipping away without another word. My heart beats stead...
I Don't Want To— I don’t want to Love you, for Such hopes feel akin to madness, A fear that winds around me, tightly. You shall never return this love, I fear it in my bones— I don't want to Love you, knowing The fear does reside in my breast, A stone that whispers uncertainty; You’ll never love me, having lying eyes— I don’t want to Love you, my dear. I don’t want to Peer into the depths of your eyes, Where shadows linger in the eclipse of us, Becoming lost in that expansive sweet unknown. I don’t want to Love you, but oh! I catch my breath in moments we share, As the breeze wraps 'round me, tenderly, When you brush by—so close, yet so far. I don't want to Love with a fervor That drags me deeper, Into the storm of yearning, Far from the shores of sanity, All for you— I don't want to Love you, Fearing you’ll not, Still, the rawness echoes— Reverberating in the silence of my soul. Love me! I tread this as truth— Doodles of names, Fill the margins of pages, Filling th...